Keeping a promise to my late granddad
It's still not sinking in. Could it be because I haven't seen your remains yet or because I just don't really want to accept the fact that you have gone off with Tatay, Mama, and Tita Clifany.
In few days they'll fly you from Davao to here in Manila, but I don't think I'd still have the guts to let you go even when I see you. Even when reality slaps me in the face.
Pa, I'm breaking. My heart is in microscopic pieces. Your passing was so sudden, I always brag about you to everyone because you were physically strong and healthy at the age of 77. You walk from home to Manila Bay as your daily workout and exercise, we would even bike together.
Pa, we'd still sing the Visayan song 'USAHAY' together. The song you used to sing with Mama, and you'd translate it to me because I barely speak the language. I'd still watch you play the guitar and listen to your own compositions.
Pa, you still need to meet my foreign friends and speak to them in their language. Tell them about your travels in their country and in the whole world.
Pa, we'd still go to Cadíz, España where our roots are from. You'd still impress me with everything, Pa.
Pa, what about the hugs and kisses and I love you's?
Pa, what about the stories about that time when you were working in the ship during the war that was caught on fire and how you managed to jump from the deck to the sea, and there were only 6 of you who survived.
Pa, remember I still need to call you and we'd talk for hours?
Pa, I'd still pluck the your beard. We'd still do our dolphin face and exchange laughs.
Pa, you'd still make me scrumptious meals. Especially my favourite 'bilakong' (scallops).
Pa, you'd still bring and fetch me to and from school or work.
Pa. Pa, what now Pa? How, Papa? How do I live with the pain of losing you? I'm devastated, Pa. Papa."