I have had literal dreams of this....

Crystal Bouza Start Date: May 31, 2018 - End Date: Jan 15, 2019
  • Dublin, Ireland

My Travel Story

by: Crystal Bouza Start Date: May 31, 2018 - End Date: Jan 15, 2019
This is more of a personal trip, I wish I could do something to make a difference but I've been so down in my own that I have no idea who I even am to help anyone. I have no motivation to want to do much of anything anymore. I go to work and I go home, once a month I go to an event a friend of mine who Djs hosts but that's about all. I have no friends, I talk to Co workers but never outside of work, and sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me. I've always out everyone before me, I guess that's why I'm in this predicament, I've always chosen others happiness over my own. Now this may or may not help but ever since I was young I've had a fascination with Ireland. I've written numerous stories where the main setting is Ireland, and this is when I was just in elementary school. I've traveled around the U. S. but nothing have ever gravitated to me like Ireland. Back in January I started to write again finally, found some motivation do something I was good at. I spent everyday writing a little a time until I just stopped again, in my mind I criticize myself and question what the point is. Then I met someone randomly from Ireland, now yes he is a male and we talk a lot but it's not like that, I don't build hopes up on impossible situations. I had him read my story, but only because after a few weeks of chatting I decided to ask a few personal questions. What was your eye color, how tall are you? Then I told him to read the first part of my story and let me know who the main guy is suppose to be. So we all ish we could meet our soulmate or our dream guy, now I'm not saying he's my soulmate or it's meant to be. That list we all have, the one where it lists what our dream partner would look like, act like, his career.... Ect.its this gentleman almost to the complete dot. Yes, flaws but the description of the guy in my story is the exact description of this gentleman down to the green eyes with blue flecks and the Irish accent. And I'm not kidding about the eyes, that's the one thing he said that caused me to say, "hey, read this now!" we both enjoy each other accents, even though I don't understand how anyone could enjoy the American accent. (I'm joking, I just hear myself talk so much I hate it). We have very similar commonalities and we're both lost. He's discovering himself after sobriety and I'm trying to discover myself after being done trying to make everyone else happy all the time. He enjoys my writing and I enjoy his music, but both are in situations where anything but moral support and friendship can happen. And I'm fine with that, even if I were to ever make it to Ireland and not see him, that's fine too. He send pictures of Ireland all the time, so I'm constantly seeing the land, buildings, weather. He drives to the different coasts just to show me the now. We joked about the language barrier on some words and words we say here that I was warned to avoid there. Having a friend, from a place I've dreamt of seeing in person is amazing. It's really uplifting, don't get me wrong I talk to people from all over, friend in Canada, England, Australia but it's not the same  It's not places I've dreamed and hoped of seeing. Of course I want to travel and see them, but Ireland is different, it's just something I've incorporated in my life for years, I'm 33 now and I don't see myself getting too many opportunities to do much anymore, and I'm already paycheck to paycheck. Bonus is I actually get vacation time.and a lot, downside is I never actually take one unless it's a stay cation. Everything is too much and I just don't have the motivation to save up to go to Florida or California or anything like that. I doubt I'll ever get anything out this site but it's worth a shot.  (I apologize for grammatical errors and spelling errors, typing on a phone on my lunch break  Not a lot of time to spill my guts.) 
I linked my blog with my story on it, the original was on Facebook, it's numbered because I did a post a day and I numbered it so the order was known on there. You know how  Facebook never puts this in chronological order on time lines.  One by one copied and pasted each part to the BLOG, it was just easier to do it that way then click on a million sections. It's not even close to being done but I'm trying to find the motivation and will to finish it, I need to finish something for once. 
  • Dublin, Ireland