Help trans gay couple to get out of Russia

Andrei Terebinov Start Date: Apr 21, 2022 - End Date: Apr 20, 2023

My Travel Story

by: Andrei Terebinov Start Date: Apr 21, 2022 - End Date: Apr 20, 2023
Hello. We are trans gay couple from Russia. Our names are Andrey and Max. Andrey works in a company that closely cooperates with the government, from this the emotional state is getting worse, leads a trans group in a social network. Max is engaged in trans activism (a leader in a volunteer trans organization and a blogger), and is noticeable in society, which makes him fear repression more and more every day. We are both on antidepressants because it is impossible to bear, we have moderate to severe depression, and we are writing this letter in despair and with illusory hope.

At the moment we live in Moscow, in the near future we are moving to a small city, as it is cheaper to rent housing there. Max is forced to leave his hometown, and we both start life from scratch. We really want to leave Russia for Spain, because we do not agree with the Russian authorities, with Putin, with the war in Ukraine. We want to live in a free country where LGBT people are people, not monsters from whom children need to be hidden.

Russia is becoming more and more repressive every day, here are a few reasons why we want to leave for Spain:

LGBT

1. Russia has adopted the law “on the prohibition of LGBT propaganda".

On June 11, 2013, the State Duma adopted a law supplementing the Administrative Code of the Russian Federation with Article 6.21, which establishes responsibility for "propaganda of non-traditional sexual relations among minors", among the population and in the media, better known as the prohibition of "propaganda of homosexuality". The law came into force on July 2, 2013.

2. In 2020, there was an attempt to issue a transphobic bill, from which a ban on standard rights for trans people followed: entering into a heterosexual marriage, foster parenthood, changing documents to those corresponding to their gender, and even revoking those already replaced.

3. We can't officially get married, we can't adopt a child, even if by some miracle it turns out to be done, it can be taken away if they find out that we belong to the LGBT community. Homophobic social advertising was put on television, directly stating that a gay couple adopting a child is a disaster for a child, and a gay couple is a mistake of nature.And due to the fact that in Russia only the union of a “man and a woman” is considered as a marriage, then in the event of the death of one of us, the surviving “spouse” will not be able to raise a child, because we are nobody to each other by law. We are a family, but without official registration, we do not have the opportunity to visit each other in intensive care, visit each other in prison (and this is a high risk here), in other words, legally we are nobody to each other.

4. People are imprisoned for LGBT activism.

Anything can fall under propaganda, for example, hanging an LGBT flag in your apartment, wearing clothes with LGBT symbols, showing your feelings on the street, whether it's hugs or kisses. Max, with his blog and a leading position in a trans organization, is taking a lot of risks, this is a daily risk of repression for “propaganda” or “undermining the institution of the family”, “traditional values". Even just talking about a common life as a couple is dangerous here, both because of the laws and because of the attitude of homophobic and transphobic society. Trans people are treated here as mentally ill, at the legislative level calling our gender a “psychiatric diagnosis". Transphobic parents complain to the prosecutor's office about trans-friendly doctors working with trans people (“you are spoiled the child”, “you are brainwashed them”), which complicates the life of doctors and deprives them of the opportunity to work. 

5. We are stressed because we face homophobia all the time when we go outside.We are afraid to walk down the street holding each other's hand, we may be beaten or even killed for it. We cannot openly flirt with each other, we interrupt the embrace in fear of attack.For a simple hug in the Moscow metro, we were almost beaten, but we managed to escape. Gender nonconformity is also dangerous here. For simple glitter on his face, Max received threats to “dig on the spot" in his address.    

6. In Russia there is an organization “Saw” that kills LGBT people. On their platforms, in particular on an open website, they published a list of their victims - LGBTQ people. “Saw” also threatens queer organizations, for example, they threatened to kill the LGBT center in Yekaterinburg. In Chechnya, Bashkiria, there were mass persecutions of queer people with a “Saw”, with torture and even murder. “Saw" is suspected of the murder of a St. Petersburg LGBT activist who was on their previously published list of victims.

7. A large chain of stores suffered from homophobic attacks on them from society and the well-known extremist Pozdnyakov in Russia (stands for “traditional values”, that is, patriarchy, sexism, homo-, transphobia, nationalism and racism) for their advertising with a lesbian couple. The store chain apologized, removed the ad and called it its mistake. LGBTQ people are not a mistake! The State Duma deputy, not hiding his intolerance to LGBTQIA, openly calls queer people “perverts”, “freaks”, “psychos”, “sinners”, calls for forcibly sterilizing and keeping non-heterosexual people in special shelters, they say through state channels that it is necessary to tear out the hearts of gays and burn.

8. You can't go to the police if you were beaten on the grounds of homophobia, because the police will say “faggots deserve it”. There is no law in Russia that protects against discrimination and attacks based on gener, sexual orientation or non-binary. Many trans people face difficulties in communicating with doctors (misgendering, disgust, accusations of an unhealthy psyche, misunderstanding of such a phenomenon as gender dysphoria). Trans people have a limited choice of any specialists, whether they are doctors, psychologists or even just hairdressers. We decide to turn only to trusted friendly specialists, of which there are few. As for doctors, this is a problem not only of social attitudes, but also of the characteristics of the body, for example, hormone therapy, gynecology, etc., in which doctors may not be fully competent with regard to the health of trans people.

9. We want to engage in LGBT activism and not go to jail for it. Queer people need visibility, information support, but legislation and society are doing everything possible to prevent this.

10. There is a mandatory army in Russia. According to the law, trans men cannot be conscripted into the army, but according to information from friends and from social networks, some trans men are conscripted despite this.If colleagues in the army find out that a trans guy does not have a penis, but a vagina, then it threatens rape or murder, but this is not the worst thing. The worst thing is if they are sent to war and forced to kill Ukrainians. We don't want that! We are against the war!

The war with Ukraine

1. On TV, we are told that Russia is liberating Ukraine from the Nazis, that Russia does not kill civilians.From friends and in social networks.in the networks we see the opposite. But talking about it is prohibited by law (paragraph 2).

2. Independent journalists who tell the truth about the war in Ukraine are labeled “foreign agents”, and a list of undesirable organizations is also introduced. Both impose restrictions on activities, deprive people of a second opinion, except for approved propaganda, which is beneficial to the authorities, there is little information about the truth in the media. All independent media are closed, and state media publish either outright lies, or only part of the information that is beneficial to them. 

3. You can not say “no to war”, and generally call what is happening a war, instead they suggest using the term “special operation”. For violating the ban, they can put up to 15 years in prison under the article for “spreading fake information discrediting the Russian army.” There were a lot of detentions at rallies and pickets in Moscow and other cities. In fact, people were detained and fined for pacifism! In pre-trial detention centers, some detainees were tortured, beaten, and threatened with rape.

4. Opposition politicians are imprisoned, poisoned and killed, there is simply no freedom of speech and political views. Totalitarianism and fascism reign in the country.

5. Andrey's boss advised him to keep his mouth shut about the “special operation".

6. We, as trans men, are on hormone replacement therapy with testosterone. Due to the war with Ukraine, we are afraid that the supply of testosterone will end. There is no testosterone production in Russia, the termination of hormone therapy threatens to worsen physical and mental health and the rollback of the bodily changes we need, gender dysphoria.Russia has already faced a shortage of syringes for injections and the termination of part of the supply of hormones for transfeminine persons.

7. Andrey is diagnosed with ADHD, there are simply no medications for people with ADHD in Russia. Max suspects he has autism. Both conditions in Russia are stigmatized by society and are not diagnosed correctly in medicine. There are practically no psychologists and psychiatrists who competently work with neurodifference (including ADHD and autism).

We are in an information vacuum and are deprived of support on this topic, we are forced to collect information about ourselves bit by bit from acquaintances with similar experiences.

We are moving to a small town where there is even more homo and transphobia, because we need to save money. We are very afraid to be in Russia, we make foreign passports, we hardly save money for moving (we have a rented apartment, and Max has a loan for 150 thousand rubles, which he took for a masculinizing mastectomy - an operation to remove the mammary glands), tickets have gone up at times, food has also gone up in some positions at times, there are no direct flights to Europe. We want to leave as soon as possible while we can still get out of Russia. We are afraid that the borders will be closed or martial law will be imposed in the country altogether. We plan to apply as LGBT refugees to Spain, but we really need money for tickets and housing in Spain for the first time. 

If this story responds to you and you are able to help financially, we will be immensely grateful to you! We need at least 5,000 euros to repay the loan and move to Spain (The average salary in Russia is 400 euros, so we can't do this without your help). We don't see life in this country, only degradation, death and totalitarianism. We cry for help!