One Family at A Place and A Time
My Travel Story
One Family's Journey To Journal Food Traditions, Therapeutic Traditions and Family Traditions - One Family at A Place and A Time.
"Everything has a place and a time."
Who Are We? Meet Roberto, Serafina and Arkadiusz:
I feel emotional sharing something so dear to me, especially under our current reality.
I'm Serafina. I am a new mother to a beautiful 5 month old. My baby son is Arkadiusz, also Ark or Arky. His father is Roberto, or Robe.
Serafina, or Seraf.
We want to travel to learn more about family traditions, traditional health, wellness, therapies and care practices around the world for autoimmunity and autism, traditional foods, traditional gastronomy, traditional languages and traditional cultures.
Robe and I met in Mexico. I am Tanzanian-British, and Robe is German-Italian. I decided to stay in Mexico and have Ark here.
We are a family who cares. We both have a background and experience in health and social care and hospitality. Robe is a chef. I am a holistic therapist.
Autism and Autoimmunity in Families:
In autism and ADHD, which I am self-diagnosed with because the formal diagnosis for adults is difficult to receive, there is a profile known as Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA.)
I have this profile. It means anxiety and stress levels are so high, growing up and home and family life are unbearable in so many ways.
My life's heart and soul mission has been learning to live functionally and independently.
I also have autoimmune conditions. Research and experience suggests there is a connection between autism and autoimmunity.
I traveled to Mexico from the UK to help my autoimmunity and do health and social science independent research. I met Robe and now we are a family.
Both Robe and I work while traveling Mexico. As new parents, we aim to parent compassionately and consciously to raise a healthy, social and conscious being.
My research into PDA and Demand Avoidance generally continues. Many families find it difficult to live with.
Children with PDA-Autism-ADHD find school, work, self-care, emotional regulation, socializing difficult to near-impossible. They are found along a spectrum, with cases presenting as borderline schizophrenic.
Many families around the globe deal with this. The silence around it is staggering considering the similarities of and around its presentation.
We need to go back to visit our families in the UK, Italy and Tanzania. We then need to continue to learn from cultures, and exchange with cultures, on compassionate parenting, conscious parenting, natural parenting and other ways of parenting, particularly low demand parenting in families with PDA, autism and autoimmunity challenges.
I especially require to learn more about PDA in families around the world. I have created courses on how to balance PDA and I need support to learn and network with adults and children to help guide the direction of my research and practice.
These courses are to support communities around the world who often do not receive the support they need, and to contribute to opening up an international community on autoimmunity and holistic health.
We want to open a non-profit organization and intentional international communities one day to provide resources for families, one family at a place and one family at a time.
One family at a place and time.
The countries we want to visit after visiting our families so far are (in no order) are: India, Egypt, Russia, China, Ecuador, and North Carolina, USA and beyond. We have included a list with this fundraiser.
Diabetes and Obesity in Families:
Robe will study food and gastronomy. He used to be overweight. He is now a healthy weight and feels better than before. He is a creative intercontinental chef who turns every meal into an event.
Robe will research and study the social impact of food, gastronomy and the culinary arts and their impact on obesity and diabetes.
I am working with Robe to get his book of recipes and stories out from his 5 years in Mexico and years in Senegal, Britain, and other places abroad. We will let you know when it is ready and we will offer it as an incentive too.
The Journey Continues:
I will study traditional therapies, wellness, health care, social care, traditional dances, crafts, arts and martial arts in these countries in alignment with research and experience.
We will both study family traditions, languages, anthropology and their relationship to the cultures in connection with our respective research and experience.
We will be doing this with our beautiful baby son Ark, and learning about parenting across different cultures in the process.
We will share our journey with you.
All of it. What has happened before, here in Mexico, and what is to come.
We are also interested in the experiences of your country, wherever you are. You will join our travel and research community as someone who understands, believes and feels aligned with our values and the importance of learning and growing together.
From Europe To Mexico:
Both Robe and I volunteered, worked and traveled round Mexico before, during and after my pregnancy with Arky.
We will continue to work, study and parent while traveling.
Robe has been in Mexico for 5.5 working and traveling. He worked and traveled around Senegal, Kenya and Britain before Mexico.
We want to have a place in Mexico as Ark was born here, and serve others as a bridge across communities local and international.
It is so magical and moving where we are and what we have seen and been through. I am going to write a book and create a documentary on it based on journals I kept, and I have photos and videos documenting our time here.
Nomadic Soul Bliss - Traveling on a Budget to Empower Change:
I found out about FundMyTravel today. I have written a book about traveling on a budget to change your environment for healing, growing and connecting, and to empower yourself. I am happy to share the first edition for free to anyone who donates (I have notes for a second edition already.)
I suppose I am an independent journalist, researcher, therapist, coach and educator.
Our Values:
Family, truth, integrity, excellence and knowledge have always been high values of mine. Robe too. I am grateful to be on this path.
Your support and ally on this journey is heart-warmingly and soulfully important, and appreciayed.
We will share our journey with you.
Because you are family.
Human family.
Soul family.
Thank you.
Yours soulfully,
Serafina.
P.S. We will be adding more incentives, such as writing songs about our travels (we are both musicians), with at least one new incentive every three months.
We plan to create a documentary from our journey.
We plan to spend between 1-3 months in any place. We will also be teaching English and holding languahe exchanges while traveling.
If you have any questions, we are here!
If you are in a country we'll be visiting and you'd like to connect, we are here.
Share this as widely and as often as you can to help support us.
All donations are appreciated.
It means so much!
Updates
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What Does Autism Feel Like?
What does autism feel like?
I am being called, deeply moved, to share and express what autism feels like for me.
Now: Imagine you are blind and heavy.
Imagine you are blind and heavy and freefalling.
Imagine you are blind and heavy and freefalling in high velocity winds.
There is no telling in which direction you are freefalling or when you will land, because you are blind.
Suddenly: You land.
You hit the ground.
It is very painful from such a high velocity fall.
A blunt impact.
You are shattered into pieces.
Then: Somewhere, in the distance, you hear a sound.
The sound says: "Pick up your glasses.
There are glasses on the ground for you, my dear. I cannot reach them. If you can find them and pick them up, you can see and free me, and I can help you to put yourself back together again."
So: You find whatever part of you can move then and there and search frantically.
You shake.
You tremble.
You shiver.
You move.
You search.
And you search.
And you search.
Then suddenly: You are freefalling again.
You fell into a well.
A sinkhole.
A high velocity blackhole.
You fell into the sky in the middle of a tornado.
And you are still blind.
No glasses.
No voice to guide you.
Not even the sound of your screams can be heard at such high speeds.
And you fall, waiting.
Waiting to hit a ground you remember was once, not knowing when.
Not knowing if you ever will.
Not knowing if your glasses even exist to pick up.
And if they do, if you will ever pick them up.
That's what it feels like.
Meanwhile: Everyone around does not understand why you cannot function and do "life."
Why you cannot do exams, let alone get to school.
Why you cannot keep track of time and space.
Why you cannot organize, or get organized.
Why you are so afraid of losing or both not getting, and getting (because then you'll fear losing it) anything.
Why you isolate.
Why you cannot socialize, and understand all these unspoken - mostly visual-spatial-emotional - social rules of the game.
Why you are spaced out and not here.
Why you do the same things over and over again.
Why you ask so many questions.
Why you have a hard time controlling your impulses, your attention and your moods.
Why it seems you are unable to learn.
Why you have a hard time hearing.
Why you have a hard time doing.
Why you are inconsistent.
Why you are obsessed with safety and control.
Why you don't know how you feel and what emotions you are experiencing.
Why you are anxious all the time.
Why you have sensory issues.
Why you have perceptual issues.
Why you jusy don't get it.
Why you are being difficult.
No one told them you are too busy falling.
Freefalling.
Over and over again.
It seems endless.
A life sentence.
And it is painful.
It does not stop being painful.
So: What did I do about all this? All of this freefalling?
I created my own solution.
I discovered and curated my own cure.
I found answers.
I got results.
And I am so grateful I did.
I am so grateful that I never gave up on myself.
I am so grateful for everyone who never gave up on me.
And I will not give up on those who do not give up on themselves and others.
Giving up is different from letting go.
Let go.
If you fall, you fall.
But do not give up.
Because somewhere out there, there is someone who will not give up on you.
And I will not give up on you.
I will not give up on you until you find yourself and your glasses.
This is what autism feels like for me.
What does it feel like for you?
Yours soulfully,
Serafina ✨ -
Arky's First Solid Food! A Traditional Mexican Favourite!
Parents (and the general population at large) the world over have different ideas about when and how to introduce solids to infants (babies.)
Through my research, I discovered how introducing foods too early - too soon before 6 months - can lead to higher incidences of allergies and autoimmune reactions.
I also learned about bodily autonomy - letting the child grab the food themselves (usually with their own hands first - some might plunge headfirst into it instead) and bring it into their mouth.
This is a clear sign baby is ready. They initiate eating.
It typically happens around their teething phase between 5 and 11(!) months.
Yes, some babies might have no interest in food and eating until 11 months. It is their bodies way of letting you, Mama and Papa, and them know whether they are ready to transition to solids, or need more time to develop and grow on milk and water.
Sincr Arky was 3 months, everyone and my mother were asking me:
"Only milk? He's big!"
"Has he eaten solids yet? Give him porridge."
I heard so many comments about if you breastfeed him too long, they'll never want to leave. When did we stop trusting babies to communicate with us?
At 5 months, Arky decided to grab a banana that was in my hand to have a taste.
Now, before this his Papa Robe had been letting him smell it by bringing it close enough to his nose to amell so he was aware that this was something he liked.
What was this food?
A banana.
Not just any banana.
A traditional Oaxaquean banana that grows locally here in Mexico. My son prefers local and seasonal foods already.
He hasn't grabbed anything out of our hands or plates again yet. He is curious and watches with great intent when we eat.
We eat together as a family generally.
I offer him milk before he sits. He watches us very intently while we are eating.
You can see that he is learning how to eat by watching us.
He imitates our chewing gestures and our grabbing gestures.
We end up making sounds at the dinner table and showing him the different things we are eating as we are eating.
As he is now more social, he also watches other people eat in restaurants and holds full on baby conversations with them.
So, as his teething progresses (he has two tooths at 5 and a half months, as does his curiosity in food and people.
Now, he has had his first taste of a solid food.
Raw, local, seasonal Mexican bananas.
When will his next be?
Only time will tell.
Yours soulfully,
Serafina
More Travel Information
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