I don't know how to do this. I guess I can start with the tldr version.
That would be: I dont have very long. I would like to visit an amazing city abroad. If you actually want the sob story, its after the main body of this story but i really dont recommend it.

--I am not here to complete good deeds or further my education or volunteer etc. So i cannot offer any atruistic reason that I want / need this. Only that it seems selfish that I ask for help from strangers to help me experience this one single thing in life.--

So I don't want to waste your time, you can move on, i understand :) Read on to my rambling sillyness.

I want to see some really awesome places and document my time for myself to look back on when my memory is fuzzy. I want to see massive skyscrapers abroad! I see these pictures but it doesnt seem real to me. It's like looking at an old travel book, running your hands down the page idly, thinking there cannot be places this fantastic in the world. Wondering if it would be as amazing as it looks. Reading the descriptions in awe. But then you close the book, tuck it away and never see it again. Because real prople truly cannot experience such things. They are too wonderous.

How do they create these massive buildings, how do they power them, what is under your feet? What are the people actually doing bustling around like that? Do they work there or are they just tourists too. How would I try to not advertise myself as a typical tourist? I am one person afterall. Female at that. A single, white, female tourist seems like it would be potentially dangerous. Would I ask the locals how to be safe? Would it be safe even identifying my nature like that? Idk but al these thoughts swirl around my head. It's just too fantastical, right?

I want to smile at the people and interract through the language barrier. I'd love that. It's new and interesting.

I want to live vlog me bumbling through something I have never done in my life. I dont stream so that sounds really fun to try it. I want to prove to myself that I can do such things and really push my sheltered boundaries to the max. Safely of course. And I AM sheltered no doubt. I would want to watch someone like me try to do all these new things. And gape like an idiot at all the unbelievable sights. That travel catalog from my memories sprung to life! The catalogs and books that I would lay on the floor and flip pages in awe. Surely people did not take these pictures! It was before the internet, I had a shelf of these types of things with my encyclopedias. I was always surrounded by books. I could never see myself past my driveway at the time haha.

I have always wanted to take a single trip abroad to experience nightlife in a large bustling city. I had been saving but i dont have the resources. Honestly I am not sure I know how much this would be expected to cost in the first place. Lots of people are well-travelled it would seem and I always wondered how they did that. How do these people afford to pop up round the world all over. Do they get immune to the sights and sounds? I would love to be given the option to taste even a fraction of that.

I am alone. I have no family nor friends. So I have  no support network nor anyone. I bet there are so many like me in the world. Why do I deserve more than them? -I do not-. But I can offer my story out in the world and hope someone might see it. Someone might be bored enough to send me on such a trip.

I would love to visit a city where I could stay in a highup acommodation  and be able to watch all the activity below and all the pretty lights. I cant do a lot, but I dont need a lot. Perhaps to stroll around and immerse myself into the urban culture at night? Perhaps to try streetfood once and maybe bring back a small souvenier. I don't care about the quality of the place i would stay, only that it is safe, has an elevator and my own bathroom. I barely eat so I dont need a lot.

Maybe even visit a zoo or aquarium or even a museum of culture.That sounds really cool.

It seems so amazing. One time I stayed in skyscraper in Seattle, WA, US and I looked out the window all night long. I listened to all the sounds like emergency vehicles and stuff and I was so happy that I didnt care about doing anything else the next day. I was just so awed with people watching downtown from such a height.

I havent left my state really. If I have it was within an hour in either direction. So downtown Seattle was one of the most amazing experiences in my life. I could only imagine a place in these massive cities. Just thinking about watching out the window makes me feel so happy. :)

I am sure this may be silly to some but we all have our dreams and this one is mine.

If I had a bucket list, this would be it. To experience a little bit of the world, just once before it starts fading. An album of images that I can experience wonder anytime I need it.

If you read this far, thank you. Even if you dont contribute one single cent it still means a lot. Small kindnesses such as these can mean so very much to someone who needs them. So smile today, hug your loved ones and look forward your next adventure no matter how small or large.

All our lives are precious and we are only given one. :)

Warning! SOB STORY ahead:

The catalyst (or sob story really, i know): I was experiencing some strange cognitive issues for a while but really wasnt worried at the time. One christmas morning two years ago I snapped my ankle in half on the ice. As I was recovering I noticed I was losing my balance. But I chalked it up to part of the recovery process. When it kept getting worse rather than better I requested help. I was given an MRI and a few EEGs. They told me that I had brain damage that seemed to be progressing and that I have epilepsy.

The part that is horrifying to me is, I was told I dont have forever. Even during treatment in an attempt to slow it down I will still be declining into full dementia. I am only 46. I was so shocked. How could this be? Someone in school tried to hurt me very very badly. So I knew where the brain damage came from at least.

It was so hard to hear that. We all believe we would be at least 60 or over to start seeing signs of decline. I know it isnt cancer or a brain tumor or any of the various things that are 100% more important than "im gonna lose my memory". Silly right?