Set us free
My Travel Story
When I first came here with my spouse (American citizen) I thought all would be great, we were going to start a new life together with our children. There was always a plan to file the visa paperwork. However my spouse became abusive and controlling and began holding my visa application over my head. He threatened constantly to have me deported and him keep our youngest child who is also a citizen. Over the space of the first five years he refused to submit my application and kept me here as an illegal immigrant, controlling anny finance and every move inside and outside of the home along with my two older children. The abusive progressively worsened and then turned towards the children. I had no visa until submission until January of this year 2023! My Father passed away at Christmas and he finally agreed to submit the application so I could return to the UK for my fathers funeral and organise his things. The only condition was I had to leave all three of the children here with him so he knew I would return. While I was gone he left the children with his parents and didn’t collect them until the day after I returned from the UK ( 8 days in total ) upon my landing back in the states he refused to pick me up from the airport and left me there for almost 30 hours. When he finally picked me up he raged at me for the entire two hour drive from the airport, I got into my house and it was absolutely trashed. He had left my dogs in a cage for what looked like the entire week I was gone and raged out in the house destroying doors and walls etc. He then proceeded to move himself out of the bedroom and into my Sons bedroom, he informed me my fifteen year old son was no longer welcome in the family home and would be remaining at his grandparents (my husbands parents) he then went on to tell me that he has a girlfriend now and she would be picking him up for work in the mornings and bringing him back and that I was to stay inside the house. The next five nights were awful. He banned the children from using the main bathroom and informed me that I was to have them use the one at the other side of the house in my bedroom. (One fifteen year old and a six year old as he had already removed one of my twins from the home) two days after my return his parents stated that my son had to return along with my husbands little brother also fifteen. My husband was not happy with this, he made his demands again regarding the bathroom along with some others, nobody was allowed to have electronic devices and he proceeded to change the password for the home internet so even I didn’t have it. When I was gone he had installed cameras above all the doors so he could see if I left or if anyone came to the house. Then if I tried to he would speak to me through the camera and ask where am I going. For three days he was telling me I had to leave and get out of the house with my twins but I was not allowed to take my youngest who is also his daughter. He took my car keys to work with him as I had a black eye from his latest fit of rage, he said I had no business trying to go anywhere right now but I am to pack up everything and be ready to get out. It was a Thursday morning I believe (international woman’s day) I later was told by my mum. He must have forgotten my car keys. I opened up the Garage as there was no camera above that one and packed as much of my things as I could into my mini van. I got my two daughters in and then called his Mother to tell her I was collecting my sons belongings. I then picked up my son from his school, went to the phone store and changed my phone number and then drove 1300 miles across states. Myself and my kids stayed in a domestic violence shelter for almost 5 weeks. Then I got into a car accident, it hadn’t dawned on me about the insurance or the registration of my car being registered to our home. I was so distraught and stressed with everything else. Anyway the insurance company mailed a letter to him and he knew where I was. Then the threats started again via email, I had to bring my child back or he was going to have me deported and keep my daughter and also have me done for kidnapping. He worked in law enforcement at the time so I believed him. I returned. He was okay for a couple of weeks, full of sorry and everything else then it started again. His girlfriend still showing up at the house and him still going off out there. I hadn’t received my ssn or work permit yet and didn’t even a state license so I really thought I was stuck this time. Anyway, his drinking and raging started again, he threatened to rape my daughter and shoot my son when they attempted to stop him from beating me. He did end up being arrested this time as I was hospitalised with a broken back, broken hand and another bad black eye. He stayed away after that for about three months, he continued to pay the rent on our house and then just stopped, He told me I was to move into his parents house with him and my children. He said that we would live there with our now six year old daughter for one to two years and my twins (sixteen) would be sent back to the UK. I refused, am still refusing. He recently started showing up at my house, then most recently told me his parents won’t allow him to live there anymore and he has to stay here most nights. With me and the kids. I am too scared of him to get him arrested as his parents just bail him out or get a restraining order as he always tells me he will just me and my kids and then himself. He friends in high places after having worked in law enforcement for almost fifteen years, all of his family still do. I just recently got my work permit and ssn and state license. I also filed for VAWA to separate my visa which he doesn’t know about. All of the paperwork goes to a friends house as he also has tracking on the mailbox so he can see what is coming. I just want to leave. Unfortunately I have no income yet and I am struggling to find employment without him knowing, he has threatened that I won’t work and he will give me money. But it’s limited. Just enough to feed the kids and myself, I have to explain anything else I need and produce receipts. I do coupon and sell bundles on the side to save money which he doesn’t know about. My family don’t talk to me now and most of my friends don’t either as he doesn’t like it and just causes issues and makes things worse for me and the kids. I am trying to save enough money to get a small camper/Rv big enough for me and my children and just leave. This last time he hit me was so bad. Please don’t judge. This is a horrible situation that is difficult to understand unless you’re in it. I used to look at women like me when I was in my 20s and think why doesn’t she just go. But it’s so much harder than I thought. I literally had no way of even finding employment to support my children until a week ago when the work permit arrived. As I have been here without documents for so long I have no credit history so even finding a rental is difficult until I have worked for a few months. That’s when I thought an rv/camper might be my best option for now. Thank you so much for taking the time to read the short version of my story, I am sorry if this has brought up anything difficult for you. Thank you, God Bless. I cannot put pictures of much on here for my safety. This all has been written on a friends device.
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