Diagnosed and time with my kiddos needed badly please!
My Travel Story
I have never done anything like this but my options have ran out and this is my last hope. I just want you to know that if you are taking the time to read this that it means more to us than you could know!
I am a single father and have been since 2017, my kids are my life and I have taken every opportunity to make their lives as positive as possible. I have been diagnosed with a rare terminal cancer that has been getting worse and ripping my body apart. I unfortunately had to watch my grandfather suffer from this same cancer a few years ago until it took him from us. Knowing what I seen him go through is the worst thing I try to except for what is to come for me. I was living life and living well enjoying each and everyday to the fullest. Once I was diagnosed everything in my life and around me started to become destroyed and taken away. Slowly I have told all 3 of my kids that I have the same cancer they seen take control and destroy their great grandfather's body and life. Telling them was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The looks on their little faces crushed me to my very soul because they knew exactly what this means for me and for them and that is that our time here together just became shortened. I know that NO one is guaranteed tomorrow in this life but to know what is going to happen to me after having to watch my grandpa be taken is cruel. I seen the pain he went through, it was horrible and I wouldn't wish that on anybody!
This is so hard to type out but to know that the day is coming that I will leave this world way to early and leave my kids here without me hurts so badly. I am having so much trouble placing it and feel like I am failing them. On top of that I will be lucky to walk my daughter's down the aisle at their wedding or hold a grandchild they will hopefully have. I didn't want to know I have cancer, it is to much to handle with everything I know. To say the least I am lost, scared, worried, afraid, and emotionally drained with pain that is horrible.
To hear my youngest daughter say to me that she doesn't want to live if I am not here is so painful in so many ways! I have ALWAYS been a father before anything else in my life, my kids are my world and my purpose! How do I make this easier on them? That is all I think about everytime I see one of them hurting over this.
One of the most talked about things my kids and I have joked around about with this diagnoses is going to a tropical island with our own piece of paridise so the 4 of us can be free of our thoughts. To be able to enjoy our time together and make a memory of a lifetime. We have never had anywhere close to a chance to doing such a thing together. I just want to see them smile, I have crushed all 3 of them by telling them everything but I had no idea what to do. I don't want to be the cause of their pain, I want to be the solution to it....
I know the possibility of us being able to actually go on an adventure like this is a dream but if I never took this opportunity now while I still can it would only remain just that for the rest of their lives once I'm gone... a dream!!
We appreciate your time greatly and thank you so much for reading this!!
-Chris, Jordan, Alyssa, and Ava
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