This summer has been a time of great change for me. I knew that my ex-husband manipulated and gaslighted me throughout our marriage, as well as yelling at me and excoriating me verbally..Since we have children together, he's continued to do it all along, even though we're apart. Last month, I suddenly realized that I have been trapped in a cycle of domestic abuse for years and years. That that's what this is. And I came to understand what I need to do to take my power back. One of those thing is to travel and have all the experiences I haven't been able to have while I've been trapped under the emotional manipulation of his mind games. 

I first want to go to France to study the area where Mary Magdalene was said to have gone after the crucifixion. It is near Toulouse. I am Catholic and have studied Mary Magdalene extensively. This trip would be in the interest of having the opportunity to get away, and just ground myself in an area that is said to be very empowering. While in France, I also want to visit the American Cemetary at Sursenes, where my great uncle Carl Gillen is buried. He died in World War I and I would like to go and honor him.

The second trip I would like to take is to take my boys, 21 and 18 now, to Sweden, to visit our family who still live there and see where our family came from. They don't have a sense of their ancestry, even though I talk to them about it frequently, and for previous generations of my mother's side of the family, our Swedish heritage was very important. I am an only child, and I want them to connect with this part of their identity in a way that will make it real for them. Immigrants built this country, immigrants like my great uncle fought and died for this country, and immigrants continue to be the backbone of this country today. They are just four generations away from Ellis Island, and I hope this trip would make that real for them.