Hopes & Dreams so Far from Me

Caitlin Godwin Start Date: Apr 27, 2022 - End Date: Aug 26, 2022
  • Educational/Research Trip
  • Professional Development
  • Volunteer Trip
  • Rochester, NY, United States of America

My Travel Story

by: Caitlin Godwin Start Date: Apr 27, 2022 - End Date: Aug 26, 2022
  • Educational/Research Trip
  • Professional Development
  • Volunteer Trip
Hello! My name is Peanut. I know that I am registered here under my dead name, as it is legally still "my name", but hopefully that will not be the case for much longer. I have gone by Velma for going on a decade now and I really appreciate your respect on this matter. Thanks for being so cool.
So, I already introduced myself where to begin...hmm, my normal behavioral jokes aren't so easily inserted into a text box...so, I guess just onto the point.
My goal is Rochester, New York.
No, not New York, New York. 
I did some research, and when I say some...I've pulled all-nighters.
I have problems, don't we all, and though my I'm problems are not the focus, they do effect my reasoning for being here in the first place. 
The biggest problem here being that I am currently, and have now been for many years, homeless. I do not ask for pity, though I do ask for understanding and compassion in how difficult it can be to overcome this challenge especially when paired with my other problems. Though these could I'm sure qualify me for some sort of government assistance, I'm trying to avoid this by way of working with my brain and body in more creative ways than physical ones. I suffer from chronic Rheumatoid Arthritis (diagnosed at the age of 3, my mother decided it didn't need to be treated and I now have gone 27 years without treatment). I also suffer from many (also untreated) mental health issues that are both hereditary and trauma-based, though I prefer not to go into detail much further about that subject. These are not excuses, but reasons why I may have been struggling with this for so many years.
These problems just make it difficult for me to maintain a typical job, especially ones that involve lots of customer interaction and standing on your feet (which is the majority of jobs available around me). 
I have chosen Rochester because it has so much housing opportunity that's more affordable than anything else I could dream of here in Washington State. I can't find a place, and when there's an available apartment, it's laughably overpriced, with housing costs nearly doubling in the past 2 years. (I wonder why??)
Rochester has schooling opportunities as well as job opportunities that I could more readily utilize with the problems that I am currently facing, such as temporary office positions that allow me time for recouping between gigs and I'm off my feet so my arthritis isn't eating my ankles alive.
I have done the utmost for research and consideration for my preference for this location. I have found houses I can afford to purchase easily in this location, giving me security in housing that I've never had as an adult.
Part of what I'm going to do to ensure that this is secured is by starting and maintaining an adult modeling site (21+) featuring my big beautiful self. If you know, you know. 
I will also blog and vlog my PG13-version of the experience and my personal growth on YouTube and on a website. I will maintain social media accounts and gain sponsorship after sponsorship.
Once I have the space and equipment for my career and personal growth, I will be unstoppable in my success. 
I have so many goals and dreams and ideas. I'd love to be able to go volunteer at local community organizations, and with my housing security help by adopting black cats.
I hope with time to become a professional artist. 
(Work posted above)
I hope with time to become an author.
I hope with time to become a YouTuber.
I hope with time to go to college and become a librarian, a historian, a poet, and fluent in German.
I have dreams, though I have been stuck in the mud for so long that my bones are quaking in the hardening muck, wading the tar pit, running through quicksand. 
This trip would mean to me that I can have what I need out of life, a do-over and a hand-up; the longer I struggle in the quicksand, the lower I'll sink.
I try not to ask for help. 
I try to be even and unbothered through sleeping in a Buick Regal that I cannot fully stretch out in. 
Through not being able to cook, though it was once my passion.
Through not always having access to a toilet.
I try to smile through it.
But it's getting so hard to even keep a straight face, let alone smile. 
I sometimes wonder why I always want to cry, and if I think too hard about it...
Even if you don't have the inclination to help me out with a dollar or two, please just help me out by sharing. Every little gesture means the world to me. 
I will also be happy to share info or talk to anyone who wants to chat. I'm currently private on Instagram, but send me a request and I'll accept any I get. @xo01i10ox is my IG.


I will be driving to get there, but in the next portion I will be using the options given to approximate the same or similar cost.
  • Rochester, NY, United States of America

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