Help Me Go To College

Matilde Silva Start Date: Dec 15, 2019 - End Date: Jun 14, 2020
  • United States of America

My Travel Story

by: Matilde Silva Start Date: Dec 15, 2019 - End Date: Jun 14, 2020
I have been accepted to NYU Tisch's class of 2024. It is my dream to follow a professional acting career and I have been taking all the measures to do so. I am a Portuguese student study in Spain. However, I know that going to NYU is the big next step to accomplish my goals. I have 3 other siblings. One of them is my twin who is also attending college next year. Therefore, it will be financially difficult to fully pay both undergraduate courses.

A little bit about me:
Theater became an escape for me during a debilitating period of my life. From the outside, I was perceived as the ‘happy’ and ‘sociable’ girl. I hid my fears from everyone. “There is no chance I will let my flaws or fears be seen by others”, I thought. I was lost. I compared myself to others and could not find who I wanted to be. Although I was surrounded by so many loved ones, the word ‘alone’ became stuck in my head. The nightmares that chased me night after night made my mind float to dark places where my fear of being betrayed and harmed would take over. I was petrified that if I ever had to go through a traumatic experience, I was not worth enough to be saved. When taking on the persona of a new character, my teacher would ask me: “What will you do to overcome that challenge?”. Through theater, I learned that I cannot control how cruel life can be, but I could better myself. This made me appreciate that there will always be a challenge to confront; so for each new character I performed, I would explore the strong features that would help them accomplish their goal and then I would apply them in my own life.
My focus became the willingness to change. Fear was replaced with optimism. I decided that instead of forgetting my fear-fueled nightmares, I would use them to write; to explore myself and share these emotions with others. I changed my perception; my ‘nightmares’ were now ‘experiences’.
During my Junior year, I had to write a play. I wrote about my ‘experiences’ and as I wrote tears streamed down my cheeks. My character was brave, yet her courage led her into hazardous situations: she would go to extremes to follow her dream. This propelled me to realize that our flaws can be turned into strengths. For instance, my weakness and fearfulness led me to become more conscious of other people’s demons.
I believe when feeling fear or pain, human nature is to repress or express. I repressed emotions throughout my life. Now, I try to express them with a vision of improving myself and developing empathy. By showing vulnerability, I want to show others that they are not alone.
When performing my Junior year play, I received several positive responses from the audience as they were immediately engaged with the story. Recognizing how emotional I could make others feel by being vulnerable made me choose performance and storytelling as part of my future; a future where voices are heard and emotional release is achieved through the pathos of theater.I refuse to limit myself by believing that theater performers only “act”. Dancing, singing, composing, writing, directing and research are, therefore, part of my development. In the future, I want to use my passion for theater to create and interpret pieces that stimulate audiences to carry on conversations and inspire social change long after the performance has ended. Mental health and balancing work demands with personal life are two of the concerns that I would approach through performance as storytelling for change.
  • United States of America