Ernest Hemingway used to say, “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” And that's what I'm trying to accomplish right now. To have clarity of mind and a deeper understanding of myself. To finally mature to be able to have a family one day, which is my biggest goal in life.

When I started this blog a few years ago, I intended to write about my honest feedback on traveling destinations, give some advices I learned from my own experience of extensive travels around the globe, and also share some of my lifetime memories. So far so good that hasn't been the case as I ended up writing mostly about my struggles with mental health.

I started the Blog during a mania crisis, and my first articles were written during that state of mind. They were written in a rush about a distant past of protesting against the status quo, social injustices, and restrictions against individual freedoms that we suffered in Spain through different political governments, which had a profound lasting impact on my mind back then. However, I distanced myself from any political involvement a long time ago. It's something I left behind, but I still await a trial for rioting during a demonstration in 2021.

I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which for those not familiar with the condition consists of being way more vulnerable than an average person to your own emotions. When you suffer from it sometimes you're hit by a depressive state that makes you lose hope, and inner strength to do the daily tasks, and you're unable to experience pleasure with any activity. On the other extreme of the illness, you might encounter a mania, which makes you lose touch with reality, rational judgment, and power to control your behavior.

During a mania episode I had back in 2021 I made many mistakes such as fighting with the Spanish police while I was completely out of my mind. I faced many criminal charges because of that. My lawyer and my mental health practitioner provided extensive reports about my background, my proven disability, and the state of mind I was going through at that time when the episode happened. But it didn't discourage the Spanish justice to ask for a sentence that would put me in jail.

So I don't have any other choice but to be on the run for the rest of my days. I decided to quit pursuing my career as an economist back home and go abroad instead, where I mostly work as a scuba diving instructor. It's a humble profession that I enjoy way more, as I feel I have a more positive impact on people's lives sharing my passion for the underwater world while spreading awareness about the need to protect it for future generations. However sometimes I struggle to make a living out of it, and I rely on my family's help to afford the daily expenses. It's something that makes me feel ashamed, but I keep working towards achieving economic independence, and studying how to establish financial stability in the upcoming future.

I try to keep a balanced, healthy lifestyle, away from self-destructive behaviors and coping mechanisms. At the same time, I continue exploring the world and sharing some stories about my journey while doing so. I intend to give honest impressions about destinations and travel tips as well.

I still miss my family and the friends that have seen me growing up. However, as there is little I can do in justice's regard, I prefer not to look back and take it as an opportunity to seek other life goals.

I love the sense of adventure, uncertainty, and waking up every day chasing a life purpose and new horizons.
I strive to give you a clear insight into the adventures and hardships I've been through. I have been a few times close to death and in very dark spectrums of my soul, so I feel grateful to life for the countless opportunities it has given me and the learnings I gained from hardships.

I don't feel particularly proud of what I've written about yet. So it's something I want to get better at and gain a deeper and more mature perspective about myself and the environment I live in. I publicly share my thoughts and experiences being aware of the stigma associated with those who suffer from mental illness, to let you know what's to live with it first hand. Writing does indeed help me to better organize my thoughts, be completely honest with myself, and look backward to see my evolution of thinking and being. Hopefully, it does help someone out there.

Feel free to give me any feedback if you dare to read it, either good or constructive criticism, I won't take it personally if you don't like it. I hope there are still many more memories to come, and many dreams to chase and fulfill.

 

I don’t have any intentions to monetize my memories, just to help people with similar issues to deal better with problems without making the same mistakes I’ve done. Tell the reader about what has helped me to find lasting stability and balance, as well as how I’ve overcome my crisis.

Any help, big or small, would be greatly appreciated. So that’s why I’ve done this crowdfunding, in case you want to support my path.

Best regards,

Gonzalo