It's hard for me to ask this, but it's even harder for me to type this up right now. 

In May of 2017, my Mom, Velma Rosiere, went in to surgery to have a blockage removed in her pancreas. It was supposed to be a simple and routine surgery. She was released after the surgery. She then went to another hospital afterwards to get help with her blood glucose meter. When they tested her blood, it was way off, and they kept her there. They found that she was bleeding internally. Upon looking into it to repair the bleed, they found a nodule with malignant cancer inside of it. They said that they would be able to remove the nodule via a Whipple Procedure, and she would be okay. I lived in Arizona at the time, and arranged to fly home to Illinois for two days to be with her. Since I believed everything was fine based on what the doctors had said, I returned to Arizona. I kept checking up on her and my brother who lived in Illinois was there with her nearly everyday for the month of June during her recovery. In July, they moved her to a different floor, out of Intensive Care. The hospital that did this put her on a floor in a small room that had no AC, and only a fan. My brother was with her most days, and he witnessed a nurse change her IV needle out without sanitizing her hands and without using gloves. Shortly after this, it lead to a blood infection. On top of that, she started bleeding internally, and she coded. My brother called me and told me what happened and that they were able to revive her, and supposedly had stopped the bleed. They moved her back into Intensive Care to try and get the infection under control. On July 19th, my brother called me again to tell me and I left AZ to drive back to Illinois. I got back to Illinois on the night of July 20th. I got to see my Mom. She was awake and coherent. She squeezed my hand and looked me in the eyes. And I told her that I loved her and that everything was going to be okay. Having just drove 24 hours with only a couple of hours of sleep, I, for whatever reason, went to the waiting room to sleep instead of asking if I could stay in IC with my Mom. The next morning, an ER doctor woke me up and told me that I needed to come in and that my Mom had coded and they needed to know what we wanted to do. My Mom did not want to be resuscitated, she told us that many times. And after having a very hard conversation with my Brother, we decided that what was right by my Mom was to let her go in peace and not be put through anymore suffering that this hospital had put her through over a two and a half month period. July 21st was the hardest day of my life and I still carry so much of it with me. 

But one thing that my Mom always dreamed about and talked about was her dream of going to Hawaii and seeing the ocean for the first time. My Mom grew up in poverty, and in my childhood, she did everything she could for my brother and I so that we never had to feel the way she had to live in her youth. My Mom was a rock and she had a rough life, but she was the most beautiful soul. Out of everything she endured in life, she did not deserve to leave this world the way she did. I still hold the surgeon, nurses, and hospital in contempt. Their negligence too my Mom from us. 

What I want to do for her, is to take some of her remains to Hawaii (I have some of her hair), and I want to put them in the ocean at the place where she dreamed of going, but never got the chance to see. 

I have no idea how much this would cost. I have the vacation time to take off of work, but I am living paycheck to paycheck and I can't afford it. I know that my problems are inconsequential in a world where so may others have it so much worse, but if I could do this for her, it would mean a lot. I would like for my Brother to be able to go as well. It doesn't have to be a vacation or anything. Maybe a day or two. I just want to realize her dream and whisper to the wind all of the things I hope she will hear. 

For anyone who does help with this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

For anyone who is unable to help with this, thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read her story here.