Hello, y'all my name is Alexis Perez. I'm 45 years old and have survived the craziest life ever. My family raised me in extreme poverty. My mother flew from Costa Rica to the states with $50 in her purse and with a 13-year-old daughter, not knowing anyone here she started working double shifts as a cocktail waitress at bars. My dad, trying to escape the demise of the future of Cuba, devised a makeshift raft out of empty plastic bottles and driftwood. After a treacherous 2-week journey in the Gulf of Mexico he arrived on land in the Florida Keys. He became a fisherman and made his means that way. one fateful day they met and got married. I popped up shortly afterwards. At first glance it all seems like a fairy tale. But it was far from perfect. My father was an alcoholic and passionately in love with my mom. He had a hard time dealing with his jealously, having my mom work at bars was very difficult for him to accept. It brought so much turmoil into household. He became violent her and me at times. i developed PTSD from the conditions we were living in and the abuse. On my stronger days I just looked ahead and try to figure out how I was going to make it in this world so I can escape from these toxic people, and on my bad days I would think about how I should end it all. Cut to age 18, I graduated high school and was so happy that now I can start living my life under my conditions, my rules. Or so I thought. Driving home from my celebrations I was crashed into by a drunk driver. I was pronounced dead for two minutes and fourteen seconds. Then I was brought back to life and choppered into the closest ER. By the time I arrived I had slipped into a coma, where I stayed in for 3 months. Upon waking from this horrible tragedy, I found myself being suer confused and lost. I had amnesia for six months and my PTSD was off the charts. After months of physical therapy and seeing psychologist, I started to feel "normal" again. It was a struggle that lasted almost a decade. Needless to say, my self-esteem never got any better or self-worth for that matter. Not only was I damaged inside but now I was a physically deformed, with scars on my face and up and down my whole body. Unfortunately, due to my head injury I couldn't go to college and continue studying. I had to settle for following in my mother's foots steps and join the bar business. Now I feel like I have missed the boat for many opportunities. I have no education, and I am stuck living day to day with the cash tips that I make as a bartender. Now I'm an adult and riddled with personalities disorders like severe Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, Paranoia, and I'm completely Anti-social. Needless to say, I was never good at relationships and the only man I truly loved was exactly like my father, go figure. He had me hospitalized every two to three months due to his beatings. His biggest fear was that I'd meet someone else at work and leave him. Well, his biggest fear came true. One day I found my inner strength. I found ME. I left him. Travelling has been the only way I have to put my mind at ease. It's the only thing that helps me validate my existence to myself. It raises my self-esteem. It erases all thoughts of suicide and disappearing. But on a measly bartender salary with rent as high as it is now, traveling feels almost impossible. Which is why I'm here pouring my heart out to you seeking help.