I am a mother of four, a grandmother to seven. Since I was a little girl I've always wanted to go to New York. My daughter s a b r e n a was going to take me this year. Well she unexpectedly passed away in June will be 2 years. 2 weeks before that my mother passed away unexpectedly. And 3 months before that I lost my brother and my sister separately to cancer. And now my son-in-law just passed away. So my grandsons have no father anymore. Anyway it's been a rough couple years. And when this year came around it made me really sad, well I think I'm always really sad. But I remembered that this was the year we were going to go to New York. I would still love to go. I have fibromyalgia and since all this has happened my body is shutting down I have a hard time walking. My doctor says when you go through trauma and you have fibromyalgia your body reacts to the trauma and they don't know why. So they cannot fix it. Yes I have issues already but two years ago I could still work, I could walk downtown if we wanted to walk downtown now I can't even walk across the street barely. Anyways this is something I feel I need to do. And then she lived in South Carolina we were going to go to South Carolina I've been there before to visit her, but I'd like to go again just to go back say hi to her boss go see her house just kind of like a little bit of closure I think. And then she was going to take me to Florida because I've never seen the ocean. New York has the ocean but she said Florida would be better to go in the ocean. I just feel that I really need to do this, for a little over a year and a half I've been waiting on a disability decision I'm supposed to get it this week finally. My kids have been kind of paying my bills I've been getting help from churches and stuff for my rent sold my car. I need something good to happen. And I just think if I go it'll help me take the mind to another place for a little while. Yes that I lost a lot of people, but after I heard what happened to my daughter there's no bigger pain than that. So I was sad when I heard about the rest of the people but your heart can't break anymore. Once it shatters it can't shatter anymore. And I kind of think I need this that might save me in a way. I know it's supposed to be a good thing a good post about why I want to go. It is as I'm crying my eyes out it is a good thing. I think it'll help me heal more than I think it'll help me heal. So if you can help me do this I would appreciate it immensely